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john b x sarah x reader x jj making sure the reader finds them like this so they can keep showing her that it’s ok for them to be like this around each other all the time.
they invited you round, so you had no idea why they were acting like they didn’t — the first sight you’re greet with upon entering being the sight of sarah cameron’s tanned back, rippling and rolling as she grinds her hips down on john b’s lap — the both of them naked, huffing and moaning.
you would have turned right around and left, probably ran for the hills and completely died in embarrassment over walking in on them like that… if it weren’t for jj.
he sits at the desk in the corner, headphones on — yet one ring pulled off his ear slightly so he could still hear what’s going on in the room. you stop in your tracks in the doorway, eyes glued to him as to not look at the scene you really wanted to watch.
he looks totally unbothered, jaw slightly agape, eyes locked in on the screen as he plays his game, fingers clicking furiously at the mouse. when spotting you stood there nervously, all confused like a baby bunny he lights up a little, smiling all friendly.
“heyo. was wonderin’ when you might show that pretty face. c’mere wanna show you somethin’.” he beckons you over, and you feel your feet follow— braving a glance over at the couple on the bed. you lock eyes with john b and quickly look away.
once close enough, jj pulls you by the wrist so you sit sideways on his lap. “so— there’s this skin on the game that kinda looks like you. she’s got all pink stuff… oh damn where’d it go?” the blonde mutters, adjusting his legs slightly so you can sit more comfortably. you bring your finger to your lips, chewing nervously at the corner as you peer over his shoulder beneath your lashes at the couple.
“jj…” you whisper, cautiously watching sarah move onto the flats of her feet so she could bounce on her boyfriends cock. with each movement her tits bounced, and you nearly gasped in betrayal at the way it sent a shock wave to your clit.
“what?” he shrugs, but what you don’t see is the corner of his lip tugging upwards like it was all a prank. you were reacting exactly as they said you would.
“don’t you see them?” you whisper, warm breath on his cheek when you turn your head to look at him and he nearly busts out laughing at the way you phrase it, as if you were hallucinating or seeing ghosts. jj wets his lips, glancing casually over his shoulder before back to you.
“oh, that? don’t mind them.” he waves it off, seemingly going back to his game before he decides to speak up once more, feeling your eyes burning into the side of his face. “we’re all like… super close? so… don’t really bother us. s’just sex, anyway.” his shoulders jump up in what seems to be the millionth shrug, downplaying the whole thing as you knit your brows together, yet feel a little less guilty about the way your gaze drifts back over to them. so you were allowed to watch?
not realising he’d briefly paused his game once more, jj’s clammy fingers find your chin, a cheeky expression on his face when he turns your face to be front on with him yet again, noses almost brushing. “you don’t judge though, do ya sweetcheeks?” he sweetens you with the nickname he’d grant you recently that made your belly flutter.
still in his grip, you shake your head and he smiles, giving your cheek a parting pat before focusing up on his game again.
“cool. tha’s good. ‘cause you know, could be you onna these days.”
you think about that statement for the rest of the day.
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Im listening to revolting children from Matilda on loop for the like 10th time in a row. Got me thinking thoughts.
No one asked me the specifics of how this would work, but like:
AU where the childen of Konoha just fucking revolt. Just straight up say "nah fuck this" and revolt against the entire shinobi system. Tear it down from the ground up by simply refusing to participate, leaving Konoha stranded without an entire generation of soldiers to command
Iruka Mrs.Honey,,,,,,,,
Again: do not ask me the specifics of how this would work or how they'd get there. Maybe in this AU we really lean into the bleak, child soldier side of Konoha? Like, they fucked up by not making the lessons child-friendly enough to keep them distracted w the sparkles and coolness of the shinobi world. Used too firm a hand on their kids, was a pile of explosives just waiting for a matchstick
This somehow gets in the way of the Uchiha massacre bc ofc it does (which also means Itachi gets to join the revolting children let's go)
Make it funnier and bigger, their revolts somehow spread to the other villages. The entire fucking shinobi village system is suddenly facing a major crisis: their children don't want to follow orders anymore.
Make it a "Hey let's unionize the jinchuriki" au too, they're backing up the kids let's go (plus there are quite a few who are children themselves, so that works out nicely)
Lean into like the education differences of (big) clan kids vs (small) clan kids vs civilian kids and the countless restrictions on each class, in and out of home.
You have these like, super repressed clan kids who have never known anything but the blind obedience they've been taught (could especially have fun w the Hyuuga here) but you also have these clan kids who've potentially been told and taught to keep their head down, but like, at home yk they may or may not get to be a real kid— but suddenly they can't be that anymore, bc they have to be a shinobi. And just the clashing educations and spirits of all the different upbringing between them, etc. And how they might rub off on eachother in the worst ways possible (for the adults)
Just. The kids of Konoha throwing a collective tantrum. It'd be funny!
#i love matilda if u uavent seen that film i reccomend it#the original at least#i cant speak for the newer#the music and coreography for the newer film looks amazing tho#huuuge props to the child actors#crazy stuff#love it#birds fic talk#naruto#naruto au#iruka umino#umino iruka#itachi uchiha
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Sonic X Silver Unleashed would be really cool
especially for 2026, which seems like it might be year of Silver, as Sonic 4 has rumored to have Silver in it, sega would probably want to do the Sonic X Shadow generations success again, as well as finally establishing Silvers origin and finally Sonic Unleashed for modern consoles, and a pc port that people have been BEGGING for
Giving silver the chance to fix his origin would be a great chance to take if they decide that his Rivals story isn't canon (because of the way it breaks Eggman Nega), or just isn't well known enough by fans, finally setting why everyone knows him would be cool
although, he wouldnt actually meet sonic in this game, but maybe he could interact with characters that aren't in the original story, adding more to it, and maybe could have sonic and silver meet in an epilogue short like Dark beginnings
it would also probably just fit really well, with silver coming back in time to fix the ruined planet, not that I want another "silver comes back to the past to fix the future" plot, but it could work, especially if they decide to rewrite him, and because it would take place during unleashed, it could definitely work as a good introduction for his character to the world, as it's the next main game after 06 (besides secret rings) so it could probably be much more of a "this is what happened instead of 06 because the timeline reset", if they decide to lean into that (it would live up to the stuff 06 was claiming to be, a cool new direction/reboot to the Sonic world, setting Unleashed as what happened instead of 06 would not only make that statement correct, but also reintroduce silver around that time period in the series)
they could also put shadow in it, because all the fans new and old would want more of him in games, especially in "the best game in the franchise", also seeing shadow post shadow 05 would be cool, Ian Flynn could work in the Super Hard Mode being canon, where he joins GUN at the end, bringing "Shadow's best characterisation" not only into main canon finally, but also into the best game in the franchise
it would print millions for sega
and Silver's powers could get reworked for the boost engine, which would be interesting, and his powers could react with the dark Gaia energy somehow, changing the playstyle to match up with base unleashed
and I somehow didn't mention that I DESPERATELY want more of that peak unleashed world building, with the distinct cultures in the world, it would blend into silvers story really well, as he's not used to all the people and life, finally capturing that "woah, this time period is beautiful" element that wasn't there very much in 06, despite it helping his motivation to save his world so much
and because unleashed is already one of everyone's favorites, bringing it to the forefront of the Sonic franchise for new players to enjoy would probably put sonic back on top as a gaming icon
also a mixing up more of the anthros from Forces into the humans of unleashed, would not only be cohesive, but add to sonics world, Sonic, Tails, and Amy wouldn't be the only animal characters seen in the game where you see the entire planet, making sonic seem special among them and explaining why nobody really questions sonic's existence
unleashed is one of the only games that really builds up a full world for sonic, and all the other games subsequently forgot about it all instantly, I desperately want to know where Station square is on the map, or White Acropolis, or Westopolis, or Seaside Hill, or Sunset Heights, I want all the stages from the games on one big map.
Frontiers also confirms that unleashed is part of the canon, so it would set standards for the next games to add on to it, because the stages in unleashed are considered the best In the whole franchise, in music, stage design AND worldbuilding. we need it to be a base for the rest of the franchise to follow at least a little bit when making new stages, a remake would not only fix that, but also give the silver game that people have been begging for for 18 years, and finally give him a base intro to the story for the wide audience to fall in love with, because silver is rad as hell
also a game that takes place before whatever forces does would be cool, because after unleashed, the games barely even touch on the world of Sonic anymore, Colors? in space, Generations? timeless void, Lost World? Lost Hex, only really touching on it in Forces, where Eggman completely shapes the globe in his image, but they don't even really show what he changed besides "sand hill", and then Frontiers is on a separated island that we don't know where it is on the planet, if unleashed was remade, it would bring back the worldbuiilfing it had, and open up the doors to have games that add on to the main timeline come out while sticking to that worldbuilding without it seeming off because unleashed is a recent and well talked about game by this point
it could work so well sega, pleeeaasse
I just love unleashed so much, and I'm not the only one
#I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT SUPER SONIC REVAMPED FOR THE DARK GAIA FIGHT#sonic the hedgehog#sth#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#silver#sonic unleashed#sonic world adventure#sonic 06#sonic x silver unleashed
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New Instagram! Just made it to dump my art on :) both jjk related and not (hopefully)
It would be super cool and awesome and dope if you go check it out ❤️❤️
My @ is hazel_islivingtrash
Also I'm stupid it's supposed to say find not refund 💀💀 😭
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#satosugu#small artist#artist#Instagram#art instagram#my instagram#new instagram#jjk art#anime art#fan art#fan artist#it really would be super cool if you followed
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A L L A B O U T J !!
hi hi lovely friends !! names are jupiter or james, but nicknames are really appreciated !! ( jupi, jamie, j, etc . )
i'm a minor , they / him / hers pronouns , capricorn sun virgo moon aries rising (ik ik) , french / norwegian , infp im pretty sure , introverted , birthday's on january 5th !! , actually evan rosier , witch , christian , slytherclaw , children of poseidon legacy of thanatos , nonhuman
faves !!
music : ichiko aoba ; lamp ; tv girl ; the smiths ; radiohead ; current joys ; ethel cain ; chet baker ; berlioz ; frank sinatra ; ella fitzgerald ; laufey ; beabadoobee ; deftones ; odetari ; korn ; slipknot ; limp bizkit ; faye webster ; clairo ; mazzy star ; lana del rey ; mac demarco ; alex g ; strawberry guy ; duster ; liana flores ; her's ; weezer ; gorillaz ; rammstein ; sum 41 ; weyes blood ; vendredi sur mer ; sza ; queen ; nirvana ; mother mother ; vashti bunyan ; tyler the creator ; conan gray ; steve lacy ; t.rex ; fleetwood mac ; chappell roan ; vacations ; david bowie ; siouxsie and the banshees ; strawberry switchblade ; the velvet underground ; slowdive ; cocteau twins ; the cranberries ; the smashing pumpkins ; cigarettes after sex ; beach house ; pinkpantheress ; crystal castles ; men i trust ; abba ; macabre plaza ; molchat doma
composers : piotr ilich tchaikovski , maurice ravel , gabriel fauré , claude debussy , antonio vivaldi , sergeï rachmaninov , franz liszt , frédéric chopin , wolfgang amadeus mozart , camille saint-saëns , piero piccioni ; eric satie i
i mostly listen generally to classical , jazz , (neo) soul , r&b , indie pop / rock , heavy metal (nu , thrash , black , death , metalcore ) , hip-hop ,
NOT DONE😔🤞gimme a min
blinkies and userboxes!!
#intro post#can you. guys believe it#jupiter james sleepinginmygrave on tumblr dot com. has an intro post#CAN YOU BELIEVE IT#yes i know it's not finished i would have let this rot in my drafts for way longer if i didn't had like 200 followers#like uh.#i could not stay in this situation#please do not judge my shitty moodboards please i had to do with what's in my gallery because i have a problem with my wifi#oh my god#i'm super super embarassed to post this#but i have to#well#at least you guys will have some info about me until i make something pretty...#this is taking me SO MUCH ENERGY#dont know how you guys can do such pretty and cool intro posts effortlessly#like#how#ANYWAY#haha#moi#GOLLY#am i really gonna post this#yeah#well shit#Spotify
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No one ever talks about hemiplegic migraines and how much they suck and ESPECIALLY no one ever talks about how much your head hurts THE NEXT DAY king my head felt FINE when I went to bed let me LIVE
#anyways hi my migraines get so bad half my body goes numb and every time i move my head too fast the next day it throbs#best way i can describe the day after headace is like. if you've ever had covid and you got that really bad headache???#and like every time you'd move your head you'd have to like wait for a second cause it was fucking THROBBING??#that's the day after headache i usually get sometimes it isn't THAT bad but sometimes it is#and i guess hemiplegic migraine is like#what if you have Migraine boss mode and it felt like someone swung a baseball bat at your head so hard you were experiencing stroke symptom#teehee! ❤️#i am NOT exaggerating one time i made the mistake of trying to sleep off a hemiplegic migraine after playing animal crossing at like 4am#cause screen bad for migraine but ot already sucks so i can be miserable or miserable a d playing animal crossing lmfao cnxncnxncnddf#and ANYWAYS i had a nightmare timmy and tommy were beating my head in with a baseball bat lmfao like you cannot sleep that shit off#it will follow you and it will hurt!#Anyway here is Mimi's super cool guide to a hemiplegic migraine: Take more ibuprofen that is comfortable (my max is 4)#drink a LOT of water cause hydration helps with migraines. lay down in a dark room and throw on a video essay you can half pay attention to#you aren't gonna be able to fall asleep but close your eyes and just focus on that. ALSO icepack. you're gonna be here for a while#anyways i would like to switch up my pain meds when having one cause. ibuprofen isn't good for your stomach! but idk how much to take#so i am stuck in limbo until i figure that out i caught yesterday's too late and that's why my head hurts today
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nate and trent during s3/post-canon has got to be like. a hilarious dynamic. not to mention nate returning to richmond and like. trent crimm is also here. they're like yeah he's our emotional support biographer now. yeah he's been around all season. we like him now. they make the world's most awkward eye contact before both immediately fleeing in opposite directions.
#actually i think they would get along i would like to see it#but also how do you reconcile you both did something you super regret to hurt someone you both care about a lot? and like#how exactly that happened? how trent quit about it and also BURNED NATE AS A SOURCE? how nate was the one who made the situation?#etc etc etc. but like also i dont think. like.#i get fanon of trent being all protective or whatever but i like to think he's taken enough cues from ted that he's also just like.#i get it. hurt people hurt people. and nates like what you dont hate me? you LSOT YOUR JOB but like#no. trent doesnt hate him. how could he#also this is made ten thousand times funnier in a tedependent fix it fic because nate comes back full of regret and crying and like#trent crimm--who WROTE AND PUBLISHED THE ARTICLE HE FEELS SO BAD ABOUT--is just. Also There.#vibing. everyone likes him now. how the hell--#and then when nates like [trying and failing to be casual] hey so um. why is. why is trent crimm here?#he gets the following answers:#a) he's writing a book about us! b) he's writing a book about ted! c) we think he and ted might be kissing. unclear#nate comes back to richmond and teds like oh trent? yeah hes my bf <333 and nates like hes your WHAT#also see: nate is a really sweet dorky and kinda anxious person and now hes kinda back there at this point except#hopefully with more self confidence and ability to stand up for himself#versus trent who always seemed so confident and cool. now letting himself be a sweet dork at the cost of being less confident/firm#like. i just think they'd be neat is all#let them bond over being dorks actually
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I’m sitting here working away at yet another Silmarillion/Emperor’s New Groove bit of silliness that I will soon inflict on you all, and just have to say I’ve noticed some reactions to them being like “funny but this wouldn’t happen” and like
Yes!! I know! :D
These ideas are super silly, and they pop into my head, and when they won’t leave I draw them because I have to get them out of me somehow. My art is primarily for my own enjoyment; if it resonates with someone else or makes other people laugh, all the better!! I try to have them as lore and timeline compliant as possible because that’s just how my brain works, and they are built up from a foundation of headcanons that I, personally, in my own readings of the story and my own fanfic writing, hold fast as my canon, but they are absolutely hyperbole. Comedy. Goofy things that make me smile to draw after a long work day. They’re not meant to be taken seriously! XD
(this is not about the people commenting with additional lore, text refs, adding their own headcanons or dialogue -- which have been delightful to read!! -- or making me aware of alternate versions of the text, which I always appreciate!)
It’s only happened a couple of times and I can’t even remember who or on which ones but I felt like I should make a psa that YES. I AM AWARE.
That is all :)
#again it's only happened a couple of times#just one-off comments with no follow up or anything#but it kinda has the same vibe as the 'i don't like this ship but nice art'#or the 'cool oc design they remind me of [insert other character here]'#¯\_(ツ)_/¯#idk it's just had me super confused because. obviously this wouldn't happen in canon?? i never said it would?#i'm not really bothered honestly just. very very confused#comedy in general is like. not canon for this particular work of fiction lmao. there is no comedy only fire murder and shiny stones#ANYWAY#i've also noticed i've made a bunch of you laugh with my silly thoughts and that makes me happy!! :)#i also really love when people take my headcanons and go further with them; i always enjoy seeing your guys' reactions#and thoughts in my tags!!
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what if i added the eldan queen (on my multi sideblog) as a muse... but like, giving her a really self-indulgent and likely inaccurate to canon personality. i'm not that tempted but i am. a little.
#ooc#i'm not super invested in her because we don't get to know her and also because i tend to like more flawed characters and she's.#kind of ''perfect'' from what we know of her.#but like... what if she was actually really cynical?? at least before meeting the king...#obviously we're now straying very far from canon but like#i think him becoming more pessimistic and her becoming more optimistic over time would be a kind of cool concept...#with her having a far stronger determination than him but also being more manipulative / less willing to use it for others.#( until her death; anyway )#she probably hid that side of her from everyone but the king but. hmm#the problem is ( SPOILERS FOLLOWING!! ) ->#i don't think the personality we get to see in-game for her really fits this idea at all. even if you consider she could've changed a lot.#but idk. i might abandon this idea but i might think some more about it..............
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why didn't they just use franziska for literally all of this.
#freya talks aai2#my goals of not being a forgotten/forsaken hater are not going well. he goes from 'kay is a dear ACQUAINTANCE' to 'i've not known her for#very long but i know she'd never kill anyone' to 'you are the kay i know so well' in the span of a few hours and it's like.#okay so you know it was too early in their acquaintanceship for this to really make sense but you still wanted a 'deep' and 'meaningful'#relationship to take the lead in this plotline. his sister is literally right there. it wouldnt have been hard to swap her in either because#she's literally investigating the smuggling situation. it would make perfect sense for her to be there following a lead instead of suddenly#revealing kay's promise notebook went missing. im not saying that the super-gentle super-meek persona would have made more sense with#franziska but honestly it wouldnt have made sense with any of them because it's more a caricature of a character rather than being an actual#previously unseen facet of one but you could've done so many more interesting things with franziska! she has an actual personal stake in#edgeworth's decision to continue as a prosecutor or not and we could get actual insight into how her own relationship with prosecuting and#its inextricable link to her father has affected her as a person. like when you show amnesiac kay the prosector badge all she says is that#it feels heroic warm and familiar like someone she knew used to show it to her often. and like cool. it's basically telling us she and her#father were close. which we already knew. imagine if franziska had said something like that or had had a more complex reaction. there would#be so many avenues to go with that!! you'd even be able to delve deeper into what edgeworth thinks about it all. like what if franziska was#just. happier. without her memories. then you'd have a story where edgeworth has to reckon with whether it might be kinder to let her live a#different life where she's unburdened by literally everything she's been made to go through and give her the same opportunity of starting#over that he now has.#im just writing fanfiction at this point but like. the amnesia plot is so frustrating to me HAHA they dont even do anything interesting with#it!! it's just oh she's lost her memories and we need to get them back because she's not 'herself' anymore without any discussion of like.#the nature of identity or living as who other people know you as vs whoever you might actually be#WHEN THE WHOLE CASE IS ABOUT EDGEWORTH DECIDING ON HIS PATH FORWARDS AND GRAPPLING WITH BEING THE PROSECUTOR EVERYONE HAS KNOWN HIM AS#whatever. WHATEVER.#annotations#some people might argue so it's not rehashing old conflict between franziska and edgeworth and like ok. she literally repeats her 'are you#running away from me again' line during this case. does that sound like the words of resolved conflict?#i know WHY they use kay. it's because they need to justify her place in this game and because they want to play on the pseudo father-figure#thing they played up in aai2 to contribute to the overall themes of fatherhood this game is dealing with. and to that i have to say that i#might just not be the audience for it because i've never bought that version of their relationship and i dont think kay should be in aai2#anyway. plus i posit that franziska would've still worked for that theme because. literally everything. about her.
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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.
It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.
To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.
This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.
Join me below, if you would.
2004 was an election year, and much like conservatives are whipping up anti-trans hysteria and anti-trans bills and propositions to drive out the vote today, in 2004 it was all anti-gay stuff. Specifically, preventing the evil scourge of same-sex marriage from destroying everything good and decent in the world.
Enter Gavin Newstrom. At the time, he was the newly elected mayor of San Francisco. Despite living next door to the city all my life, I hadn’t even heard of the man until Valentines Day 2004 when he announced that gay marriage was legal in San Francisco and started marrying people at city hall.
It was a political stunt. It was very obviously a political stunt. That shit was illegal, after all. But it was a very sweet political stunt. I still remember the front page photo of two ancient women hugging each other forehead to forehead and crying happy tears.
But it was only going to last for as long as it took for the California legal system to come in and make them knock it off.
The next day, we’re on the phone with an acquaintance, and she casually mentions that she’s surprised the two of us aren’t up at San Francisco getting married with everyone else.
“Everyone else?” Goes I, “I thought they would’ve shut that down already?”
“Oh no!” goes she, “The courts aren’t open until Tuesday. Presidents Day on Monday and all. They’re doing them all weekend long!”
We didn’t know because social media wasn’t a thing yet. I only knew as much about it as I’d read on CNN, and most of the blogs I was following were more focused on what bullshit President George W Bush was up to that day.
"Well shit", me and my man go, "do you wanna?" I mean, it’s a political stunt, it wont really mean anything, but we’re not going to get another chance like this for at least 20 years. Why not?
The next day, Sunday, we get up early. We drive north to the southern-most BART station. We load onto Bay Area Rapid Transit, and rattle back and forth all the way to the San Francisco City Hall stop.
We had slightly miscalculated.
Apparently, demand for marriages was far outstripping the staff they had on hand to process them. Who knew. Everyone who’d gotten turned away Saturday had been given tickets with times to show up Sunday to get their marriages done. My babe and I, we could either wait to see if there was a space that opened up, or come back the next day, Monday.
“Isn’t City Hall closed on Monday?” I asked. “It’s a holiday”
“Oh sure,” they reply, “but people are allowed to volunteer their time to come in and work on stuff anyways. And we have a lot of people who want to volunteer their time to have the marriage licensing offices open tomorrow.”
“Oh cool,” we go, “Backup.”
“Make sure you’re here if you do,” they say, “because the California Supreme Court is back in session Tuesday, and will be reviewing the motion that got filed to shut us down.”
And all this shit is super not-legal, so they’ll totally be shutting us down goes unsaid.
00000
We don’t get in Saturday. We wind up hanging out most of the day, though.
It’s… incredible. I can say, without hyperbole, that I have never experienced so much concentrated joy and happiness and celebration of others’ joy and happiness in all my life before or since. My face literally ached from grinning. Every other minute, a new couple was coming out of City Hall, waving their paperwork to the crowd and cheering and leaping and skipping. Two glorious Latina women in full Mariachi band outfits came out, one in the arms of another. A pair of Jewish boys with their families and Rabbi. One couple managed to get a Just Married convertible arranged complete with tin-cans tied to the bumper to drive off in. More than once I was giving some rice to throw at whoever was coming out next.
At some point in the mid-afternoon, there was a sudden wave of extra cheering from the several hundred of us gathered at the steps, even though no one was coming out. There was a group going up the steps to head inside, with some generic black-haired shiny guy at the front. My not-yet-husband nudged me, “That’s Newsom.” He said, because he knew I was hopeless about matching names and people.
Ooooooh, I go. That explains it. Then I joined in the cheers. He waved and ducked inside.
So dusk is starting to fall. It’s February, so it’s only six or so, but it’s getting dark.
“Should we just try getting in line for tomorrow -now-?” we ask.
“Yeah, I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible.” One of the volunteers tells us. “We’re not allowed to have people hang out overnight like this unless there are facilities for them and security. We’d need Porta-Poties for a thousand people and police patrols and the whole lot, and no one had time to get all that organized. Your best bet is to get home, sleep, and then catch the first BART train up at 5am and keep your fingers crossed.
Monday is the last day to do this, after all.
00000
So we go home. We crash out early. We wake up at 4:00. We drive an hour to hit the BART station. We get the first train up. We arrive at City Hall at 6:30AM.
The line stretches around the entirety of San Francisco City Hall. You could toss a can of Coke from the end of the line to the people who’re up to be first through the doors and not have to worry about cracking it open after.
“Uh.” We go. “What the fuck is -this-?”
So.
Remember why they weren’t going to be able to have people hang out overnight?
Turns out, enough SF cops were willing to volunteer unpaid time to do patrols to cover security. And some anonymous person delivered over a dozen Porta-Poties that’d gotten dropped off around 8 the night before.
It’s 6:30 am, there are almost a thousand people in front of us in line to get this literal once in a lifetime marriage, the last chance we expect to have for at least 15 more years (it was 2004, gay rights were getting shoved back on every front. It was not looking good. We were just happy we lived in California were we at least weren’t likely to loose job protections any time soon.).
Then it starts to rain.
We had not dressed for rain.
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Here is how the next six hours go.
We’re in line. Once the doors open at 7am, it will creep forward at a slow crawl. It’s around 7 when someone shows up with garbage bags for everyone. Cut holes for the head and arms and you’ve got a makeshift raincoat! So you’ve got hundreds of gays and lesbians decked out in the nicest shit they could get on short notice wearing trashbags over it.
Everyone is so happy.
Everyone is so nervous/scared/frantic that we wont be able to get through the doors before they close for the day.
People online start making delivery orders.
Coffee and bagels are ordered in bulk and delivered to City Hall for whoever needs it. We get pizza. We get roses. Random people come by who just want to give hugs to people in line because they’re just so happy for us. The tour busses make detours to go past the lines. Chinese tourists lean out with their cameras and shout GOOD LUCK while car horns honk.
A single sad man holding a Bible tries to talk people out of doing this, tells us all we’re sinning and to please don’t. He gives up after an hour. A nun replaces him with a small sign about how this is against God’s will. She leaves after it disintegrates in the rain.
The day before, when it was sunny, there had been a lot of protestors. Including a large Muslim group with their signs about how “Not even DOGS do such things!” Which… Yes they do.
A lot of snide words are said (by me) about how the fact that we’re willing to come out in the rain to do this while they’re not willing to come out in the rain to protest it proves who actually gives an actual shit about the topic.
Time passes. I measure it based on which side of City Hall we’re on. The doors face East. We start on Northside. Coffee and trashbags are delivered when we’re on the North Side. Pizza first starts showing up when we’re on Westside, which is also where I see Bible Man and Nun. Roses are delivered on Southside. And so forth.
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We have Line Neighbors.
Ahead of us are a gay couple a decade or two older than us. They’ve been together for eight years. The older one is a school teacher. He has his coat collar up and turns away from any news cameras that come near while we reposition ourselves between the lenses and him. He’s worried about the parents of one of his students seeing him on the news and getting him fired. The younger one will step away to get interviewed on his own later on. They drove down for the weekend once they heard what was going on. They’d started around the same time we did, coming from the Northeast, and are parked in a nearby garage.
The most perky energetic joyful woman I’ve ever met shows up right after we turned the corner to Southside to tackle the younger of the two into a hug. She’s their local friend who’d just gotten their message about what they’re doing and she will NOT be missing this. She is -so- happy for them. Her friends cry on her shoulders at her unconditional joy.
Behind us are a lesbian couple who’d been up in San Francisco to celebrate their 12th anniversary together. “We met here Valentines Day weekend! We live down in San Diego, now, but we like to come up for the weekend because it’s our first love city.”
“Then they announced -this-,” the other one says, “and we can’t leave until we get married. I called work Sunday and told them I calling in sick until Wednesday.”
“I told them why,” her partner says, “I don’t care if they want to give me trouble for it. This is worth it. Fuck them.”
My husband-to-be and I look at each other. We’ve been together for not even two years at this point. Less than two years. Is it right for us to be here? We’re potentially taking a spot from another couple that’d been together longer, who needed it more, who deserved it more.”
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Says the 40-something gay couple in front of us.
“This is as much for you as it is for us!” says the lesbian couple who’ve been together for over a decade behind us.
“You kids are too cute together,” says the gay couple’s friend. “you -have- to. Someday -you’re- going to be the old gay couple that’s been together for years and years, and you deserve to have been married by then.”
We stay in line.
It’s while we’re on the Southside of City Hall, just about to turn the corner to Eastside at long last that we pick up our own companions. A white woman who reminds me an awful lot of my aunt with a four year old black boy riding on her shoulders. “Can we say we’re with you? His uncles are already inside and they’re not letting anyone in who isn’t with a couple right there.” “Of course!” we say.
The kid is so very confused about what all the big deal is, but there’s free pizza and the busses keep driving by and honking, so he’s having a great time.
We pass by a statue of Lincoln with ‘Marriage for All!’ and "Gay Rights are Human Rights!" flags tucked in the crooks of his arms and hanging off his hat.
It’s about noon, noon-thirty when we finally make it through the doors and out of the rain.
They’ve promised that anyone who’s inside when the doors shut will get married. We made it. We’re safe.
We still have a -long- way to go.
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They’re trying to fit as many people into City Hall as possible. Partially to get people out of the rain, mostly to get as many people indoors as possible. The line now stretches down into the basement and up side stairs and through hallways I’m not entirely sure the public should ever be given access to. We crawl along slowly but surely.
It’s after we’ve gone through the low-ceiling basement hallways past offices and storage and back up another set of staircases and are going through a back hallway of low-ranked functionary offices that someone comes along handing out the paperwork. “It’s an hour or so until you hit the office, but take the time to fill these out so you don’t have to do it there!”
We spend our time filling out the paperwork against walls, against backs, on stone floors, on books.
We enter one of the public areas, filled with displays and photos of City Hall Demonstrations of years past.
I take pictures of the big black and white photo of the Abraham Lincoln statue holding banners and signs against segregation and for civil rights.
The four year old boy we helped get inside runs past us around this time, chased by a blond haired girl about his own age, both perused by an exhausted looking teenager helplessly begging them to stop running.
Everyone is wet and exhausted and vibrating with anticipation and the building-wide aura of happiness that infuses everything.
The line goes into the marriage office. A dozen people are at the desk, shoulder to shoulder, far more than it was built to have working it at once.
A Sister of Perpetual Indulgence is directing people to city officials the moment they open up. She’s done up in her nun getup with all her makeup on and her beard is fluffed and be-glittered and on point. “Oh, I was here yesterday getting married myself, but today I’m acting as your guide. Number 4 sweeties, and -Congradulatiooooons!-“
The guy behind the counter has been there since six. It’s now 1:30. He’s still giddy with joy. He counts our money. He takes our paperwork, reviews it, stamps it, sends off the parts he needs to, and hands the rest back to us. “Alright, go to the Rotunda, they’ll direct you to someone who’ll do the ceremony. Then, if you want the certificate, they’ll direct you to -that- line.” “Can’t you just mail it to us?” “Normally, yeah, but the moment the courts shut us down, we’re not going to be allowed to.”
We take our paperwork and join the line to the Rotunda.
If you’ve seen James Bond: A View to a Kill, you’ve seen the San Francisco City Hall Rotunda. There are literally a dozen spots set up along the balconies that overlook the open area where marriage officials and witnesses are gathered and are just processing people through as fast as they can.
That’s for the people who didn’t bring their own wedding officials.
There’s a Catholic-adjacent couple there who seem to have brought their entire families -and- the priest on the main steps. They’re doing the whole damn thing. There’s at least one more Rabbi at work, I can’t remember what else. Just that there was a -lot-.
We get directed to the second story, northside. The San Francisco City Treasurer is one of our two witnesses. Our marriage officient is some other elected official I cannot remember for the life of me (and I'm only writing down what I can actively remember, so I can't turn to my husband next to me and ask, but he'll have remembered because that's what he does.)
I have a wilting lily flower tucked into my shirt pocket. My pants have water stains up to the knees. My hair is still wet from the rain, I am blubbering, and I can’t get the ring on my husband’s finger. The picture is a treat, I tell you.
There really isn’t a word for the mix of emotions I had at that time. Complete disbelief that this was reality and was happening. Relief that we’d made it. Awe at how many dozens of people had personally cheered for us along the way and the hundreds to thousands who’d cheered for us generally.
Then we're married.
Then we get in line to get our license.
It’s another hour. This time, the line goes through the higher stories. Then snakes around and goes past the doorway to the mayor’s office.
Mayor Newsom is not in today. And will be having trouble getting into his office on Tuesday because of the absolute barricade of letters and flowers and folded up notes and stuffed animals and City Hall maps with black marked “THANK YOU!”s that have been piled up against it.
We make it to the marriage records office.
I take a picture of my now husband standing in front of a case of the marriage records for 1902-1912. Numerous kids are curled up in corners sleeping. My own memory is spotty. I just know we got the papers, and then we’re done with lines. We get out, we head to the front entrance, and we walk out onto the City Hall steps.
It's almost 3PM.
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There are cheers, there’s rice thrown at us, there are hundreds of people celebrating us with unconditional love and joy and I had never before felt the goodness that exists in humanity to such an extent. It’s no longer raining, just a light sprinkle, but there are still no protestors. There’s barely even any news vans.
We make our way through the gauntlet, we get hands shaked, people with signs reading ”Congratulations!” jump up and down for us. We hit the sidewalks, and we begin to limp our way back to the BART station.
I’m at the BART station, we’re waiting for our train back south, and I’m sitting on the ground leaning against a pillar and in danger of falling asleep when a nondescript young man stops in front of me and shuffles his feet nervously. “Hey. I just- I saw you guys, down at City Hall, and I just… I’m so happy for you. I’m so proud of what you could do. I’m- I’m just really glad, glad you could get to do this.”
He shakes my hand, clasps it with both of his and shakes it. I thank him and he smiles and then hurries away as fast as he can without running.
Our train arrives and the trip south passes in a semilucid blur.
We get back to our car and climb in.
It’s 4:30 and we are starving.
There’s a Carls Jr near the station that we stop off at and have our first official meal as a married couple. We sit by the window and watch people walking past and pick out others who are returning from San Francisco. We're all easy to pick out, what with the combination of giddiness and water damage.
We get home about 6-7. We take the dog out for a good long walk after being left alone for two days in a row. We shower. We bundle ourselves up. We bury ourselves in blankets and curl up and just sort of sit adrift in the surrealness of what we’d just done.
We wake up the next day, Tuesday, to read that the California State Supreme Court has rejected the petition to shut down the San Francisco weddings because the paperwork had a misplaced comma that made the meaning of one phrase unclear.
The State Supreme Court would proceed to play similar bureaucratic tricks to drag the process out for nearly a full month before they have nothing left and finally shut down Mayor Newsom’s marriages.
My parents had been out of state at the time at a convention. They were flying into SFO about the same moment we were walking out of City Hall. I apologized to them later for not waiting and my mom all but shook me by the shoulders. “No! No one knew that they’d go on for so long! You did what you needed to do! I’ll just be there for the next one!”
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It was just a piece of paper. Legally, it didn’t even hold any weight thirty days later. My philosophy at the time was “marriage really isn’t that important, aside from the legal benefits. It’s just confirming what you already have.”
But maybe it’s just societal weight, or ingrained culture, or something, but it was different after. The way I described it at the time, and I’ve never really come up with a better metaphor is, “It’s like we were both holding onto each other in the middle of the ocean in the middle of a storm. We were keeping each other above water, we were each other’s support. But then we got this piece of paper. And it was like the ground rose up to meet our feet. We were still in an ocean, still in the middle of a storm, but there was a solid foundation beneath our feet. We still supported each other, but there was this other thing that was also keeping our heads above the water.
It was different. It was better. It made things more solid and real.
I am forever grateful for all the forces and all the people who came together to make it possible. It’s been twenty years and we’re still together and still married.
We did a domestic partnership a year later to get the legal paperwork. We’d done a private ceremony with proper rings (not just ones grabbed out of the husband’s collection hours before) before then. And in 2008, we did a legal marriage again.
Rushed. In a hurry. Because there was Proposition 13 to be voted on which would make them all illegal again if it passed.
It did, but we were already married at that point, and they couldn’t negate it that time.
Another few years after that, the Supreme Court finally threw up their hands and said "Fine! It's been legal in places and nothing's caught on fire or been devoured by locusts. It's legal everywhere. Shut up about it!"
And that was that.
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When I was in highschool, in the late 90s, I didn’t expect to see legal gay marriage until I was in my 50s. I just couldn’t see how the American public as it was would ever be okay with it.
I never expected to be getting married within five years. I never expected it to be legal nationwide before I’d barely started by 30s. I never thought I’d be in my 40s and it’d be such a non-issue that the conservative rabble rousers would’ve had to move onto other wedge issues altogether.
I never thought that I could introduce another man as my husband and absolutely no one involved would so much as blink.
I never thought I’d live in this world.
And it’s twenty years later today. I wonder how our line buddies are doing. Those babies who were running around the wide open rooms playing tag will have graduated college by now. The kids whose parents the one line-buddy was worried would see him are probably married too now. Some of them to others of the same gender.
I don’t have some greater message to make with all this. Other then, culture can shift suddenly in ways you can’t predict. For good or ill. Mainly this is just me remembering the craziest fucking 36 hours of my life twenty years after the fact and sharing them with all of you.
The future we’re resigned to doesn’t have to be the one we live in. Society can shift faster than you think. The unimaginable of twenty years ago is the baseline reality of today.
And always remember that the people who want to get married will show up by the thousands in rain that none of those who’re against it will brave.
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#i ate too much oatmeal and feel like i'm gonna barf#but i really need to go to sleep so i can be well rested and clean and ready etc for my job interview tomorrow#semi related note: found a job being an observer in alaska on fishing boats that seems.... interesting#but i would be away from home for three months at a time#i think the main concern is that i might not be able to meet their physical requirements with my back being how it is#but also some of the reviews of the position made it sound like they're gonna work the absolute dogshit out of you and like.#idk if i can do that either lol#seeing alaska and going on boats would be super cool#and would probably work to cure me a bit of my thalassophobia#but how frequently would i be scared before i stopped?#bc probably like every minute of every day for awhile#and it would almost certainly resurface during storms#also a lotta people said a good deal of the fishermen can be assholes bc they don't wanna follow regs they just wanna make money#typical capitalism bullshit
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Telemachus: Mom, can I ask you two questions?
Penelope: Of course, Sweetie.
Telemachus: Great! Okay, the first one is this: what's something that moves around really quietly, can turn its head surprisingly far, is super smart, and slashes mean people with claws?
Penelope: I think that would be an owl.
Telemachus: Ooh, cool. Okay, last question. What's something that gets really excitable, leaves you bones to say it's happy, is pretty fussy, and bites people it doesn't like?
Penelope: That sounds like a puppy.
Telemachus: Fun! Okay, then, Mom, I got followed home by an owl and a puppy today.
Penelope: Aw! Really? Where are they? I want to see too.
Telemachus (turning to the doorway): Come on in!
(Athena and Ares enter the room)
Penelope:...Tel, I feel like I neglected some part of your studies.
#greek mythology#epic the musical#epic telemachus#epic penelope#epic athena#epic ares#athena#athena goddess of wisdom#athena goddess#owlthena#pupares#ares#ares god of war#ares god
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The Yapping Hour is Upon Us
In which Max decides that maybe doing interviews isn't such a bad thing.
Warnings: jos verstappen mention ew Pairing: Max Verstappen x Podcaster!Reader Word Count: 2.5k plus social media posts
TheYappingHour posted:
349,219 likes liked by redbullracing, charlesleclerc, and others TheYappingHour Back at it this week with a very super top secret special guest. I simply can't wait to reveal who's on this weeks pod, you guys! You're going to DIE. (peep the clue in the second picture!) user928 her podcast set up is so aesthetic i can't user0928 RED BULL??? what does this meeeeeean??? >>>user1211 she hasn't done a ton of athletes in the past, maybe she got one of the Red Bull athletes!! user00291 DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN. (shhh let me be delulu for a minute) >>>user221 as much as i'd love that, we all know how much Max hates interviews.
There was absolutely no reason why having Max Verstappen on your podcast should be making you this nervous. You’ve interviewed actual heads of state, a former president, and royalty for crying out loud and you’re losing your mind over Max fucking Verstappen? You supposed it came from the fact that you had spent most of your childhood traveling from track to track to watch your dad race in NASCAR, racing was in your blood and you knew how revered and idolized Max was. And how rabid his fans could get. You wanted to get this interview right. Needed to get this interview right. Motorsport were still a huge part of your life, even if you weren’t really outwardly an active fan. You never missed a NASCAR or F1 race and while you considered yourself a Ferrari girlie, Red Bull was most certainly your second team.
“Everything ready?” Your assistant Shannon pokes her head in as you fluff the last throw pillow on the cream colored lounge chair. Scanning the room, everything looks to be in order. The two overstuffed chairs dominate the center of the small recording studio, each with a microphone set up on a small side table next to each chair. Instrumental versions of Taylor Swift songs floated out of small speakers tucked away and a few candles burned in the low light of the studio, creating the exact ambiance you were famous for.
You’d been doing your podcast, The Yapping Hour, for nearly five years now and it was now one of the most popular podcasts being produced. You specialized in relaxed interviews of people that the general public don’t get to see relaxed very often. Your big break had come about 3 years ago when you had somehow managed to land an interview with Michelle Obama, her episode was still the most streamed episode of yours to date. Everyone had fallen in love with your interview style, how you got these normally highly media trained individuals to drop their guard down a little and be real for even just an hour. It gave people such a unique glimpse behind the curtain of fame and your fans ate up every bit of it.
“I think so!” You nod, smoothing down the front of your boyfriend cut jeans even though the denim is perfectly ironed without a single wrinkle.
“Good, because he just pulled in the parking lot.” Shannon smirks. She knows how nervous you are for this interview and is insisting it’s because you have a crush on the driver. Which would utterly unprofessional if it were true. But it wasn’t true. At all. “And he’s driving this matte black Aston Martin.” She closes her eyes as she bites her lip, smirk growing even wider.
“Okay, let’s cool it on the hero worship.” You warn, following Shannon out into the lobby of the building.
Outside, it’s a dreary late April morning in the heart of downtown London. You had traveled from your home base in New York City just for this interview but had been surprised at how much you liked the ambiance and energy in the city. So much so that you had extended your stay a few extra weeks. The good thing about being your own boss of a podcast was that you could literally work from anywhere you had your laptop.
Peering out into the parking lot, you’re surprised to see a lone figure in jeans and what looked to be a Red Bull windbreaker, hustling across the pavement towards the door. When he approaches the door, Shannons steps forward to open the door, a gust of wind whipping at your hair when Max comes bustling in through the doors.
“Hello!” Max’s voice sends involuntary shivers down your spine, a feeling you fight hard to shove down. This is not the time to be a fan girl, you remind yourself.
“Hi Max, thank you so much for joining us today! Can I get you some water or maybe some tea?” Shannons steps forward first, extending her hand.
Max takes it and gives her a wide smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Water is fine, thanks.”
“Max, it’s such a pleasure to meet you.” You step forward then, the heels of your black Louboutain’s clicking on the hardwood floor as you approach him. It takes every ounce of focus you have not to react at what feels like a white hot spark flickering over your skin when his hand touches yours for the first time.
“Pleasure is mine.” He murmurs, cat like smirk replacing the warm smile that had greeted Shannon. Your social media did you absolutely no justice and Max was finding it hard to keep his composure you were so pretty.
“Are we waiting on anyone else or is it just you today?” You ask, eyes darting above his shoulder to see if there was anyone still in the parking lot.
“Why? Will I be needing my body guard today?” He quips as he follows you towards the recording studio.
You pray the dim lights in the studio hide the way you’ve gone pink. “Of course not! It’s just that normally the people I have on the show travel with an…entourage.”
“I don’t like people.” He says, as if it’s the most obvious fact in the universe. “I prefer to travel solo. Besides, I’m no Queen of the Netherlands or Justin Trudeau, I don’t really need an entourage.”
He casually drops two of your biggest interviews like it’s nothing and you feel the pink tinge of your cheeks heat to a crimson red. “You’ve listened to the show then?”
He nods, taking the seat you offer him as Shannon and your AV guy Steve bustle around getting things set up. A bottle of water appears for each of you and you take out the pages of notes you’ve made even though you’ve got all the questions memorized. You like to be prepared and prefer your interviews to be more conversational, less question and answer.
“I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” His eyes hold this glint of mischief that if you were less of a professional, would have you biting your lip and kicking your feet. Truth was, Max had spent an ungodly amount of time on your socials and wikipedia page, obsessing over you and your career.
“And yet you still came.” You tease.
“I did.” He says simply and you can’t help but notice how his gaze briefly drops from your eyes down to your lips and quickly back up. It’s so quick that if you weren’t in the business of watching and observing people, you probably would have missed it. But those baby blue eyes of Max’s are so easy to read, all you can do is grin back at him.
“Well, thank you for making the trek into London today. I do appreciate it.”
You briefly explain how the interview is going to work, how Steve is going to make sure everything is set up and recording, how you’ll post audio and video versions and that he can have final say in anything that goes in or stays out of the interview. You’ve found that a lot of your guests appreciate that little clause and in the five years you’ve been doing the show only a handful of bits have been kept out. You like to think it’s because you’re good at what you do and get people to open up on a level that they feel comfortable with.
Steve finally gives you the okay and you settle into the cozy lounge chair, Max sitting comfortably in the one opposite you.
“Thank you again for joining me today, Max. I’ve got to admit, I was a little surprised when your manager said you’d agreed to come on the show. You don’t do a lot of lengthy interviews and I could only find a handful of podcast appearances over the years. So, why The Yapping Hour? Why now?”
Max takes a sip of water before placing it on the table beside him. His shoulders are relaxed, his ankle sitting on his knee is a causal pose. You’ve become a veritable body language expert since starting the show and you can already tell this is going to be a good interview.
“I like your style.” His blunt answer throws you off for a moment and your cheeks heat. Again. You make a mental note to make sure they edit your complexion in post production to take the blush out. “GP sent me the one you did with Dale Earnhardt Jr a few months ago and I was impressed at how authentic you were. Dale is a character but you got a lot of depth out of him. Your questions went beyond the typical ‘what’s your favorite race track.’”
“Well, thank you. That is quite the compliment coming from you.” For the third time in a short time, you blush at the compliments this man is handing out left and right.
Your eyes flicker above Max’s shoulder to where Shannon and Steve sit, their smug faces tell you that you’re not imagining him flirting with you.
“I have to tell you, I went karting with a few friends in prep for this interview and oh my God, I’ve been sore ever since! I can't imagine how hard an F1 car is on your body. Talk to me a little bit about your training sch-…”
“You went karting as research?” He interrupts you, face a mask of disbelief.
Now it’s your turn to smirk, “Of course, I like to know what I’m getting myself into.” You toss him a wink and enjoy the way your stomach flips when his ears go a bit pink. “My dad beat me by almost 20 seconds and I don’t think I’ll ever hear the end of it, but it was worth it. I can see why so many people get hooked, it was so fun.”
“Karting with a NASCAR legend had to make it a little better though, yeah?”
“You know my dad?” Your brows nearly hit your hairline, you’re so surprised at this. Your dad had been long retired before Max had come onto the racing scene and there wasn’t a huge overlap in fan bases between F1 and NASCAR.
Max nods, “He was racing around the time Jos was in F1. I still remember that one Daytona 500 where he stole the win from Earnhardt Jr on the last lap after he’d led for the entire race.”
You tilt your head back laughing and Max thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard, fully entranced by the long column of your neck that’s suddenly exposed. “Oh God, dad is going to die when he hears you know about that race.”
“Have either of you been to an F1 race yet?” A plan begins to form in Max’s head.
“No!" You lean forward to swat at his arm playfullt. I’ve tried a few times but it’s always fallen through. I do watch most of the races though, as long as my schedule permits. Sometimes it’s easier when you guys are in Europe because the races are so early in New York, it’s easy to watch them from bed on Sunday mornings.”
The image of you wrapped up in a fluffy duvet wearing nothing but his t-shirt as you watch him race nearly sends Max into orbit. He blinks furiously, trying to get that vision out of his mind so he can pay attention to you.
“Tell me this then, if you could pick any garage to watch the race which one would it be and why would it be Red Bull?"
You can’t help that laugh that explodes from you then and Max preens under your attention, smile stretching wide across his handsome face. “You know, I could have sworn it was my name on the podcast Instagram page.” You tease, giving him a wink. “You keep asking me questions, I’m going to be out of a job, Verstappen.”
“I can’t help it when the interviewer is much more interesting than I am.” He murmurs, taking another sip of water without taking his eyes off of you.
The rest of the interview continues on for the next two hours and you get so much content you feel a little dizzy at the thought of having to cut over half of the episode. For the first time in the podcast’s history, you may have to split this into two episodes. Max doesn’t mind one bit, finding that he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be with how easy he finds it talking to you.
You wrap up the interview over an hour past the time you had told Max’s press officer it would last but neither of you make any movement to get up, despite both Shannon and Steve beginning to wrap things up.
“I’m so sorry I kept you this long, Max. I know you’re not a huge fan of lengthy interviews.”
Max just shrugs, “If all interviews were like this, I probably would say yes to a lot more of them.”
You grin over at him as you rise, realizing the sun is setting outside and your stomach is aching for food. Max follows suit, although he feels a clench in his stomach realizing that his time with you is coming to an end.
“Can I ask you something?” He says when Shannon and Steve walk out of the studio, leaving the two of you alone.
You look up at him and nod earnestly, “Of course!”
“Why didn’t you ask me about my childhood? Usually it’s one of the first things people ask me, especially in these kinds of interviews.”
You shrug, face heating at being found out. “Like you, I do my research and I figured you might not want to talk about that part of your life. I want my guests to feel comfortable when they come on the show, not immediately put on the defensive. I guess I thought there were other more important topics…”
Your words hang in the air, heavy between you two. Something in Max’s chest aches at the simple kindness you’ve extended him. It’s true, he doesn’t like revisiting his childhood very often, especially when it’s recorded and will be put on the internet. His dad was very much still in his life, obviously, and while he had done a lot of work to move past his childhood, it was still painful to talk about.
“Thats…wow. Thank you.” Is all he can manage, voice thick with emotion.
“Of course.” You murmur, reaching out to touch his elbow in what you hope comes across as a comforting gesture.
Max’s eyes drop to where your slender fingers rest on his bare arm before a smile stretches back across his face. “I know it’s kind of last minute but you were saying earlier you’d never been to a race. We’re in Miami next weekend and I’d love it if you were my guest…”
You can’t help the flutter in your chest at how nervous he appears standing before you. Your eyes dart over to Shannon, the official keeper of your schedule and are delighted when she nods vigorously, phone in hand with your calendar already pulled up. You made a mental note to give that girl a raise ASAP. “I would love to, Max.”
“Yeah?” He sounds almost shocked that you had agreed so quickly.
“Yeah.” You say, a hint of a giggle at the edge of your voice.
“How about I take you out to dinner tonight and we can work out the details.”
“Why Max Verstappen, I had no idea you were this smooth.”
TheYappingHour posted
987,392 likes liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, susiewolff, and others TheYappingHour SURPRISE! Part one of my interview with none other than 3 time F1 world champion Max Verstappen is live on all socials RIGHT NOW. (yeah, I said part 1! We both yapped so much you're getting a part two next week!) user9382 the chemistry between these two was OFF THE CHARTS >>>user111 ikr? i felt like i was interrupting something the entire hour. MaxVerstappen1 it was a pleasure meeting you! can't wait to see you in Miami this weekend! >>>user2999 MAX WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HER IN MIAMI. >>>user999 stfu she is so coming to the Miami race?? MAX EMILIAN VERSTAPPEN. user3210 has she ever done a two parter before??? not even the Queen of the Netherlands got a two parter!! user9928 i don't think i've ever seen Max this relaxed during an interview EVER. >>>user222 seriously! He was like a little boy with a crush then entire time.
yourpersonalinsta posted
234,100 likes liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, michelle obama, and others yourpersonalinsta we yapped some more and stuffed our faces. til next time, maxie! (tagged: maxverstappen1) user999 not michelle obama herself in the likes maxverstappen1 you're going to be trouble in miami, aren't you? >>>yourpersonalinsta what do you think? ;) >>>user9932 oh my godddddd user028 this is the couple i didn't know i needed
tag list (some of you only requested to be on a series tag list but i am not organized enough for that. lmk if you want to be removed!! also fingers crossed this tag list works this time ffs. sorry!)
@anilovessadbooks, @shelbyteller, @formulaal, @martygraciesversion381, @longhairkoo, @samantha-chicago, @stelena-klayley @dark-night-sky-99 @luckylampzonkland, @chlmtfilms , @inarabee @aykxz98 @forensicheart @cheer-bear-go-vroom @lieutenantchaos @willowsnook @sltwins @linnygirl09 @powerfulmess @technicallypleasanttree @meglouise00 @mixedstyles @strawberryy-kiwii @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies @unknownmystery22 @mrosales16 @charlesgirl16 @leclercdream
#f1#formula 1#max verstappen#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fic#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fluff
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May I interest anyone in a bunch of role!swapped dorks tonight? Yes? No? Maybe? No matter the answer, I've got them and I want them to be free! So be free, my first batch of pretties!!! Heaven knows I need to exercise you out of my brain right now. If you wanna know some base vibes for this brand of insanity, uhh keep reading I guess!
Housemaiden!Bonnie's backstory is simple. When Nille grabbed Bonnie and ran away from home, both siblings were welcomed into a House of Change and they were swiftly adopted by everybody who met them. Bonnie was inspired by the kindness and hospitality the Housemaidens gave them, so they decided to become a devoted follower, inevitably getting Head Housemadien Euphrasie's love and attention too. Living in a school kinda sucked, but Nille seemed happy so they liked it well enough. Cue the King storming Dormont's House! Euphrasie basically blessed Bonnie to be immune from the curse and pushed them out the door, leaving them to try and find "someone else to help". As per her instructions, Bonnie tried. Bonnie failed. Bonnie swore everybody black and blue and left Dormont in a huff. Fighter!Siffrin found them just seconds before they passed out from exhaustion in the middle of nowhere. Bonnie has an emotional breakdown and asks if this super cool fighter can help them save the country or whatever instead of all those crabbing crabs who didn't want to help them in Dormont Of course Siffrin wasn't going to let a little kid wander the wilderness alone, so they agreed (without really understanding what Bonnie was asking them to do) and tagged along. It didn't take too long to find the other 3 members that would make up Bonnie's "Ultimate Kickbutt Team", but those details are still being worked out. Safe to say it's a time and a half, though!
#my art#ISAT Role!Swap AU#in stars and time#I don't wanna talk about how Isa and Sif bonded so quickly because it'd be funnier (and easier) if I drew it#but I will say drawing Isa without sleeves is almost like drawing Sif without his cloak#oddly satisfying. a little addictive.#would recommend.
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── desperation. ( psh ) 📠
pair: boss!sunghoon ㅊ employee!f!reader | warnings: smut, secret relationship, age gap (sunghoon is 10 years older), semi-public s.x (?), hoon is a needy boi, coercion, quickies, dirty talk, piv, no lube, no protection (don’t be like them!) | words: 1.4k
imagine boss!sunghoon being so needy n desperate for you at all times, he just can’t seem to keep his hands off you.. just needs to cop a feel whenever he can bc he’s that obsessed w you ;( he’s also willing to skip important business meetings just so he can bring you into his office when no one’s around and have you bent over his desk— loving the way your curves hug the work uniform in all the right places..
this is my very first ever post on enhablr !
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
“please?” sunghoon’s desperation grew as time went on, nothing but lust clouding his judgement. he had you pushed up against his desk, caging his arms around the slope of your waist, hindering you from any retaliation, utterly defenseless in his hold.
“i promise i’ll be super quick..!” he pleads even more, pressing wet kisses all over your face, his pouty lips still lingering along the rim of your jaw afterwards. “just need you, so so sooo bad.”
sunghoon has been “negotiating” with you for the past ten-ish or so minutes, playing every trick in the book he possibly can in getting you to fold like a sunday lawn chair for him. what may have prompted all this you wonder ? well, he simply got hard at the sight of you and now you’re the one in ‘trouble’ because he can’t function while being bricked up at work. you two had an odd relationship to say the least… he was your boss, the man you reported to every day and pick up his morning coffee before he arrives at 8 AM sharp, but you also sleep with him sometimes?? (you thought it would be just a one off occurrence but sunghoon wanted it to be a more frequent, fwb type of deal..)
you were seriously hoping that he’d leave you alone today, you had a lot of work that needed to get done within a short timeframe and distractions weren’t going to do you any good, however, you couldn’t just say no to park sunghoon. there were dozens of other women who’d kill to be in your position, they already tried to seduce him one, two many times before— except you of course. you were like the golden employee who always followed orders, listened to directions the first time, and did everything the right way, he’s never really had to reprimand you and even on the rare chances you do mess up, he’d handle it with you in private; just like how he’s doing now.
hell, sunghoon makes it excruciatingly hard to resist him. especially when his breath inched beneath your ear, silky strands of jet black hair tickling your chin as he begs for your touch.
“i told you i was busy— hoon, s-stopp !” you helplessly whine, your mind kept telling you to refuse but your body was saying a completely different story. he knew exactly where to pull the pin, knew just how to make you give in to his not-so-safe-for-work desires.
“oh are we now ?, too busy for me ? what happened to wanting to get that new promotion, huh ?” he cocks his head to the side, turning arrogant all of a sudden now that he can use something as leverage over you. it’s a shame that he has to stoop to such low levels but he’s willing to try whatever method that’ll get him exactly what he wants.
as he whispers in further detail all the naughty things he wants to do to you, your legs were brought to a tight close, wanting nothing more than to relieve the ache you felt between your plush thighs; you feel dirty, disgusting for wanting your boss to fuck your brains out, it’s unprofessional, you shouldn’t be doing this— letting him have access to you whenever he wants almost felt dehumanizing.
though, you be lying if you said he didn't strike a bone in your body, maybe 3, or 4.. 10 at most. hell, maybe even all of them. some days you were able to keep your cool and act as though he had zero effect on you— however, he was just so unable to resist at times. you couldn’t help but be attracted to him; even if he was an asshole sometimes, you secretly liked it in a sick, twisted kind of way. if he was going to play this little game then you may as well play right along, plus you weren't gonna just walk around with soggy panties without getting something in return, right ? right.
“oh ? giving in already, guess you really do want it that bad, huh ?” he smirked childishly as you finally cave in, rubbing up against him, spreading and burying his knee between your thighs.
“shut up, do you wanna? or not ?” so over his annoying little antics, you gradually wiggled your hips against his toned, muscular thighs.
“it’s cute when you act all needy for me.” his hands caressed your waist, taking your leg to his hip, in effect your pencil skirt riding up your thigh.
you felt his clothed dick against your core as he pressed his body against you. sloppily taking your tongue against his.
you've always wondered how this man could get you so hot and sweaty all over a few words. then again, as long as you’re pleased; does it really matter ?
“fuck..” you spoke, hand grabbing at his tie, the melody of his luxury belt being unwrathed gave you a tsunami of chills. “quickly, i have a meeting in..” you checked you wrist, reading the analog watch that sat delicately along your veins. “15.” you heaved heavily, he tugged down your tights physically prepping himself with his hand.
“thats enough time to make me bust twice.” he chuckled. his length entered your puffy, dewy pussy.
“quick busser !” you laughed, knowing it'd strike a chord within whenever you tease him.
taking your ass in his hands before he paces himself. “you love when my dick coats your pussy in a thick coat. so, suck it.” he groaned, kissing onto your collarbone to keep himself quiet.
his office wasn't what people would call sound proof, but at a good distance from the door, nobody could be able to hear you. but keeping you quiet would deem to be the most difficult part.
sunghoon bear hugged you keeping you tight against him, he thought fucking you in your work attire, especially your tights, had to be the sexiest shit to dance on this earth. it's honestly why he's here. the way the thin black fabric wrapped around your thighs, he could just picture your sloppy pussy, wrapping around him. balls deep. and you took him so. so. so. well.
“ugh, yesyesyes..” your ragged breathing swam through his ears, giving him an ounce more of stamina. “shit !” your clit throbbed at his lower abdomens slight back to back friction, you grind up onto him, to feel more of that reminiscing release edging you.
he nibbled at your lips before taking them against his. “shut the fuck up. you dont— hell..wanna get caught do you ?” he swatted your thigh, thrusting himself at a slower, but rougher notion.
“fe—feel so good, nggh.. hoon..” you whispered, biting at his ear.
your forehead glistened with sweat, the buttons of your shirt leaving your perky breasts opposed and exposed. you threw your head back at the pulsating between the two of you, you could feel him. throbbing, and hardening inside of you, and it turned you way the fuck on. just as your pussy throbbed against his hard.
“c'mon mama.. you wanna drench your boss’s cock? huh ?.. wanna make it all gooey with your cum ?” he pushed you closer and closer with his words, as if him ramming into you wasn't enough.
“yes.. wan' make it gooey, baby !” you whispered under your breath. throwing your head back, leaving your boobs to bounce under the escaping light of his blinds.
“then cum, be a good girl..” sunghoon’s breath quickened, he was near the edge himself, if not on it.
the two of you, moaning into each other's lusty mouths, aching for more. your groans becoming quickened and hoarse as the burning knot in your stomach leaves you in discomfort. until a strong stroke came to pop that growing bubble inside you, releasing you of all your numbness. you came onto his thickness.
sunghoon, lost it at the feel of you tightening around him, lays you down onto the desk, pushing down on your stomach. he could feel himself through passing through your entrance. just thinking about it, left him blissful.
“fuck, fuck ! 's fuckin' right, squeeze me baby..” he finally broke, leaving all his pellent inside of you, slowly pumping himself a few more times before sliding out. his figure, breathing heavily, leaning onto your heaving chest.
you could hear him chuckling after awhile of comfortable silence. “looks like you're gonna be late for your meeting miss. y/n.”
“you so owe me.” you glare up at him as if this was all his fault.
“i do ?” he kissed your tummy.
“yeah, you do actually.”
“and what may that be?” he raises his brow, pushing up his thin framed glasses.
“a real date.”
“can i take you back to my place after ?” he kissed your tummy through your shirt once more.
“deal.” you grinned, catching your breath.
you were a dirty mess. a mess that sunghoon, had absolutely no problem with cleaning up.
#enhypen smut#sunghoon smut#sunghoon scenarios#enhypen scenarios#enhypen drabbles#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon x reader#enhypen x reader
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